what are you telling me?

One of my favorite cousins was diagnosed with cancer a few months ago. He kept in touch with us through all that he was going through and then in the end, he succumbed to it a few weeks ago. Over the years he was such a loving, kind, smart, athletic and giving person. So it came as quite a shock when at his funeral which we were given a link to because it was held in London, we saw a number of things that just confused us in the extreme.It began with seeing his brother sitting with two people whom we considered his family, only to find out that my cousin,whom as far as I knew lived alone...was alledgedly involved with, lived with, had a stepchild and two children with...adopted? I don't know...this whole life just came out that we knew nothing about. What's weird about all of this is the length of time we spent with him where he could have revealed this to us. It was his life, so why would he never mention these people? I was so shocked by these developments that I took several hours going through every piece of correspondence I ever had with him. I remembered him telling me that he had been in a relationship and that it ended and he was depressed for awhile, like a year or two and then to my memory he sent me three pictures of himself and a new love in his life.I cannot find those pictures anywhere! But then, I have deleted emails in the past and that message may have been one of them. My reaction also comes because I don't understand it? I can't fathom the contrast between the person I knew and loved and the new information that I feel did not have to be hidden for any reason whatsoever. It was as though I was watching someone elses funeral and not my cousins.His passing was upsetting enough, and then that! I am still expecting some answers about this whole thing. On the one hand, I should care less whether my cousin had this life I knew nothing about. He could do whatever he wanted with his life. But it is just that it has come out of such left field that I am stunned!I am made to wonder about his life in a way that I never expected.