The kind of issues that I come across sometimes, I know that whatever I experience, I am not the first or the last. Yet sometimes, saying that does not matter. I established awhile back that three people kept engaging me. How big is my damn ego really? I thought that I was dealing with it, but it seemed to have metastercised. Is it possible (yes it is) to have a great deal of love for more than one person? I read recently that it is not possible, that somewhere, you are in one stage of love with one, perhaps agape...meanwhile in another with the other person.
I say, ok, that's one view, and I am not saying that I expect some sort of miraculous situation to fix itself because of this conundrum. It just is what it is at this time. It is a sum of many years, of standing guard with emotions that have been mutually felt. In some ways, it is beautiful, and I would say, ultimately, beautiful. But I also say, it is sad, heart wrenching, and not at all planned.
It is contradictory at best. But it is a blessing to know that you cannot die from so much love....so much love inside and around you.
So one turned into a hopeless disaster.
One, completely untouchable, and one actuality.
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