The year has begun like Usain Bolt. However, I don't feel outmatched. I got up this morning and had the luxury of staying in bed and just listening to my thoughts about my plans for the week ahead and the year ahead.What I enjoyed was my little tete'a'tete with myself about that topic that just won't go away. Here are some of my early morning musings...I have seen recently that when I am working with my instincts I am not wrong. My issues come up when I want to square up between my logic and my gut. That is usually a mess! Already for 2019 I will say that I am noticing that I am less persnickety about the way things should be. That feels like a relief. I did not realize how much that tunnel vision was hurting me. I am more focused now on accomplishing what I set out to do to the best of my ability with room for watching the effort unfold. A friend of mine gave e some unexpected news last year, a few days ago. He is getting divorced!Waw! I felt good to be able to give him some advice, but I also really felt it for him. They have no children, so at least they do not have that added distressing emotional issue. However, I can hear in his voice how broken he feels. They have parted amicably and are still friends. But he is in that place where he feels like he was standing outside in a hurricane. That is a hell of a thing. To talk to him about the process is a bit like living with it afresh. But what was interesting was that I noticed something in my own situation from speaking aloud what the whole thing does to you. I have always said that divorce changes your relationship., and that it is still a relationship. This time, I saw that my ex-husband is having an un-amicable relationship with me where he uses our child as leverage to keep the relationship going. It felt a bit dismaying! He's still in a relationship with me. I plan to get my decree absolute put forward in a few weeks. That will be an excellent way for me to put that situation behind me.