applying clarity

So how do I keep on this plain? How do I continue to acknowledge that I am God? I saw also tonight that I had to journey to the core of what hurts. I saw that it is an illusion. It feels very, very real, but I could actually see myself observing what I named as the hurt. I could see that it is just a construct. if I could literally make it as an object I would see it as a sort of vehicle that has a steel frame, wheels, an engine and lots of glass that reflects all manner of iridescent light that can appear dark and obscure from the outside, but from the inside I could see the outside world clearly. The ego has a lot to play in all of that. One must observe how one feels at such a moment. Is the breath normal? Am I anxious? Am I demanding something more from my experiences? What is it too me? This moment that I am embodying? As I sit and ponder, I can see myself inside the language of the hold of the past and the expectations of the future. But I can also see beyond even my limited understanding of my existence...to things that I have no language for, and i am actually enthralled and relieved to have no language...to go beyond my limited self...the person needing to be anchored by language. For just one precious moment...I have no expectations. ....... I have my breath ...... I have nothing to forgive I have nothing to forget I have nothing to do I have no one to please ..... I am just embodying the breath ..... I don't want anything I don't need anything ..... I am at peace I am at rest ......