exceptional moments of clarity

I am presently having one of those existential moments that I am extremely happy about as I feel it and anxious to get everything here on paper before the mood passes.A rush has come over me like a huge cumulus cloud. It is an awareness that feels almost physical of the power of love as the source of everything that I do. I was speaking to my daughter because I sent a message via her to her father about her education and his response was as usual, nasty and mean spirited...and I have been for some time just dismissing his actions because I do not engage him anymore, so I am able to ignore and dismiss what he does. So tonight, she tells me what he said and I reply that I want her to tell him thank you and have a good night. What that did interestingly enough was literally open my heart. i felt tangibly the fact that as challenging as it may appear at first,it is imperative that I do the very opposite of what I used to be inclined to do...which is to react in equal measure to him. I cannot react like him. i am not him. I am not going through what he is going through and I cannot and should not meet him at his worst. By sending out the very best 'vibe' or emotion with greatest sincerity to him, I literally drink from the well of my own "well'being. When I see that all is genuine in my heart, I cannot be hurt and distressed by what someone wants me to share because they are unhappy. I have the opportunity to instead bring them along with me to a beter place, if even it is only in my own imagination. I used to wonder how I could be feeling so much conflicting feelings for someone and consider that they are probably not even considering me as I focus on what they (made) me feel. It is a hell of a thing that might make you just feel defeated. But if you look at it from a slightly different perspective then the message is deeply valuable. It really does not matter whether the other person has you in mind or not. What is clear is that it is always you in your mind. It is you either saying that you believe in yourself or reject yourself. it is never about the other person. So you can sit and believe that this person or that person has it out for you, wished you ill...it really doesn't matter.....and that word, matter is such a powerful one. The matter...what's the matter? I kinda want to laugh now that I see it. I am always creating 'matter'. If only I could stick to the love. Love is the matter that 'matters' most. ................... To actually surrender to L O V E is so much more than the literal belief system. It is a surrender to self and all of the pollution of thought that keeps me from moving forward in the moment. Every time that I am willing to embrace the things that distract me from my highest thoughts, I am stepping back into the illusion that I cannot be amazing. I cannot actually reach for the very best in me. ................... I saw it so beautifully tonight. If I acted as I used to do in the past I would have missed the gossemer yet steel induced power of dismissing the illusion out of hand and acknowledging the clouds that say to me that everything is perfect, simple and perfect and I don't have to be stressing and forcing anything in my life EVER again. .................... The attempt to even hold onto the thought cannot happen...and I have come here and to my diary hundreds of times trying to express this very thought, many times before. It is not to be captured. It is innate.No person or thing is to be coralled. No issue or circumstances is to be worried over and get into your system and create anxiety and fear. All of the tools are within. It isn;t something to rush out and convince anyone of either. Be still and KNOW that You are God as a dear friend says all of the time. Everything is happening in the right time without any effort from you. You can pluck from that vast storehouse or you can go on worrying about every moment. ..................... The funny thing is that the mind would say, that's all fine and dandy but it doesn't pay the bills.What's funny though is that if you really look at it...you should ask yourself, can you imagine yourself moving in a mindset of everything resolved in perfect order? Can you imagine yourself sans challenges that twist you up in knots? Wouldn't you like to be able to free yourself of such toxic experiences? of course you would and you would find the money to do it too. So how come it is so difficult to seperate yourself from those negative beliefs that keep giving you more of the same results? .................... Tonight, that simple act with my daughter, i saw it plainly. I could go down his rabbit hole and join the familiar poison or I could resonate at a higher frequency where shaking off the familiarly negative could only bring me peace and that is way better forever!.