fresh eyes

My friend has returned home and overall the time spent with him as always was both refreshing and insightful. He has been so grateful for things that my family and myself have done for him, that he always talks about it. This makes us feel a bit uncomfortable as what we think we have done are things that we would naturally do for anyone. That aside,I discussed how awkward I felt this time with him, and have given it some further thought. I have come to realise from where his desire to be so forward comes from and I am surprised a bit by my revelation. He is happily married, but his wife's family have never been warm and embracing to him. My ex husband has taken that rejection to an extreme, but with my friend, I can now see how that manifests itself. We all feel that we are accepting of such life blows. We soldier on and we do not try to dwell on it too much. However, in little and sometimes big ways that stifling and stuffing down of emotions can manifest in other ways and will demand to be seen. In my seeing, I must cut him some slack. This is a person who is amazing. He is kind, generous, funny, supportive, hard working and also, sad about the one or two things in life that would complete his feelings of success and joy and he just cannot have that one little simple thing. I get it. It is really challenging to know in your heart that things can be so much better if little things shift into place. Things that can easily be achieved if the other person would see with fresh eyes. You wait forever and in the waiting you shrink a little bit every time. I relate oh so much to that. It is a difficult situation at best. Even when you give it up, you wonder about the what ifs. Eventually you come to terms with it only be moving on with other concerns and eventually it seems like a sailing ship in the far distance, you are aware of it and you remember.