The drunken master or getting off the emotional rollercoaster

I spoke to two people I trust and listened to reason.I confronted my feelings, and even looked at all of the other distractions too.It took a little prodding from me, but I was able to just lay my contradictions on the line. I said aloud what I felt about my ex-husband, what I think I feel for my ex-boyfriend...lol...ex,ex,ex.
Look behind door number three. How about considering that something else can be on the way?
The moment I start thinking emotionally, I know that I cannot make a decision from that head space. I have to take a moment and find out why I am acting that way. What is it that I believe I want from the situation? I must articulate it and see whether it shall really reward me as suspect.This is always about feeling good, so I cannot make light of people who have addictions, who is to say that my feelings are not in that category as well?
What I do know is that, if something is to work, it should not be hard to make it work. It should not require hurting others, it should not be all about uprooting and disrupting what I am about to have it.
I feel embarressed to be so vulnerable, but this is because I pride myself on knowing better most of the time. I'll get over that.
I so want to be appreciated, admired, loved,share love, that despite myself, I am reaching out towards what is comfortable and familiar.
Perhaps I also need to start going out sometime, I have gotten into work and home to the extent that I do nothing else.Maybe, if I focus a bit on things outside myself that I enjoy and can do for myself, I may be less likely to feel so emotionally needy.