Sometimes it must be asked what do you really want and more so, what do you believe is best for you? I have had the time to ask myself this about my emotional life in particular, thinking that writing, stating and feeling what I want was very straightforward.But now, I find myself in two minds, evenly divided down the middle. I must sort it out as soon as possible because I am not following my own thoughts on the matter.
What surprises me about myself at the moment is that I am thinking very emotionally, thinking very selfishly on the one hand and then very pragmatically and reasonably on the other.
How can I be happy, when it can only be fleeting? Obviously wanting much more is inevitable. Logic requires prudence. I know what I must do, but I want to enjoy what I can while I can, and this is driving me around the bend.
The good thing about this is that I can discuss it honestly. Yet,that is the problem too, because it is so obvious that so much is shared and appreciated, and those things make decision making harder.
I just want my cake and to eat it too.
I thought that I could handle everything, but I must now be realistic. I just have to be steely and end this lovely experience.