I don't know what to say

A few months ago I was forever changed by an encounter on the street with someone I did not know. What I did know though, was that from the moment I became aware of him, something shifted for me, and that, that shift was important. It is now many, many months later, and tonight, I feel his pain in a way. He has told me that he has lost his dad, and my mind reaches out to him, wishing that I could bring him some sort of comfort. I know that there are so many questions that I have not asked him. I do not know him. I have found that I am moving so very differently in every way here. I can see that I am living with contradiction, and trepidation, and wonder and I don't know what? I came to this entry to just be close with my thoughts tonight, because I can't imagine what he is going through, and I care about this person that I don't know, and I want to get to know him. I feel as though the roles I have played so comfortably in the past have been reversed. I feel like a nube. I feel as though everything I know is lost or gone. I stand naked before the world, amazingly not afraid, even though everything points to being completely vulnerable. He may be here in my life in the past. He may be here for another day, or years ahead. I don't know. This person has not given me the expected inclination of anything. It is all me wishing and wanting and believing based on puffs of smoke, and perhaps even mirrors. Yet, go I want to go, because I feel so alive being this unravelled. It is as though all of my order was keeping me back. Perhaps it was so.