somber morning

Sometimes I can be too much for myself. It is like a subtle mist around me, not like the cloud that Charlie Brown's Pigpen carries, so I know that I shall be fine... and I know that I have all right to feel this way, I just didn't really want to acknowledge it. Watching my father go through two years of not being at his best, fighting off illness, my mom give one million percent to him....my dear auntie taking care of their other sister who died in December and it is so easy to just stretch out all of the things that feel dismaying at nearly midnight tonight. So I have decided to allow myself to feel it. Not to shush it off. I am sad. I am tired. I am dismayed! I also know that this too shall pass. I am not looking up into the sky for a bargain. I am not casting blame or feeling that my life is a mess. I know way too much about what is going on in the world to elevate myself to such a height. Lol. It is sleep that I really need. An opportunity to start on a new page in a few hours really, that will do it.