A l i v e

You read about it and it is so simple....you want something-you work for it. You put your head down and you just focus until you can see that finish line. In one of my professions, you GET ahead by ostentatiously getting seen. You need one little break followed by another one, and hearsay and then just keeping on the tracks. You can get a job. But then to move up, you need to negotiate, proove your value.The other job has no advancement unless people leave. Then, being a freelancer is a free fall situation. Every job is a hustle, and juggling three does not lead to the big bucks that you see when you write it all down on paper. What am I doing wrong? There are millions of people thinking the same way and doing the same things. Yet, we all want to be special, and we buy into whole symbolisms of success and this isn't changing anytime soon. Covid-19 Hiroshima's the world and we have to start over again with the same playbook. So many people are running all over the place trying to get back on top, while others are holding steady waiting for the shit to clear and hoping that they have something left to start over with and then there are people who will not be able to have what they had ever again. In this free for all, I wonder who is standing, what are we doing? Yet, you kinda know. You see it whenever there is a recession and then it ends. Everyone forgets where we were.