Doing

Recntly I found myself comparing what is going on with me with the things other people I know are posting. Comparison is a certain way to become depressed. However I want to use what I believe I am seeing and experiencing as a springboard to my own way forward. One is always moving forward because that is the way that time is read. I feel frustrated about the things I want to do, as I feel that I am not getting anywhere and worse, I am not doing anything to lead me forward. I think that it is a good time for me to write here exactly what I feel I am going to get out of my work and also whether what I want to do is really the way to go if I want to meet certain goals. My ideas include book publishing of all types, from a self help or moreso a self knowledge one, two history/educational ones and three to five art books. I want to do these things because I want to read books like that. I want to impart knowledge and I want to leave a legacy. These books are not about making a huge amount of money. Truly, money is not being considered at all with those things. What I do now, I do to make a living. Is it enough? Many times I would say that it is not. I do not make enough to do many of the things that are normal. I cannot save enough, as I find that I have to borrow from myself for immediate needs.However I am always grateful that I have the option. I also do two other jobs, but they can be referred to as gigs because they are not consistent either. I occassionally get a lumpsome of money and then as always I pay back debts accrewed during the lean times when my salary is late, and it is late way more than is ever comfortable. I cannot continue along these lines in my life, as much as I have grown so very fond of what I do achieve. I have to make some changes. I still want to create the books I mentioned. I still want to do the work that I am doing in those three areas. But I need something else that is consistent so that I can afford to do the things that I am doing comfortably. That is where I am at.