I was talking to a young man of twenty-four that I know, and he was telling me of the girl he loved that "got away." I have found that men always seem to have one. In this instance, he painted her as this bright, ambitious person, and he said that she did her best to try to help him to straighten up his life, but eventually she had to leave him and focus on herself. I let him know that if she appeared before him now and decided to take him back, they would still not work out, because she would still have the same needs and he would still be in the same position, not wanting to change. ......... I found that what I told him resonated with me, and low and behold, my sister sent me a What's App message about someone from her past contacting her. It turned out to be the guy she had travelled last year to see, the same one who she was so in love with for years, whom she supported in so many ways. He let her down when she came home by just not being around and not preparing in any way for her to visit him. She put up with it, and then when she came home again, the second time he didn't even see her at all, after telling her that he was going to do better. My sister was blown away by the gravity of disregard he showed her. She did her best to brush it off, and fortunately she had lots of things to do, but the disappointment stung and hurt like hell. Things that my sister should go for, that perfectly mirror her when you meet her, like a great conversationalist, a steady, career driven, clean cut and handsome guy, he was none of that. he is a short,high school dropout,hustler. She liked him because at the time he seemed attentive, genuine and in awe of her. He saw her bullshit and she loved that. ........... So, imagine, after not contacting her at all, splashing her pictures all over his gram and when she arrives, removing them and putting his new girlfriend on it instead and saying she's actually the love of his life.... he contacts her months later. He has very little charge on his phone he writes, and his apology is weak and pointless. .......... Something the young man said to me made me think of what my sister went through. he said that he wished he could run away or go back in time. The flight and flight reflex of some men is a head shaker.Not fight and flight. Maybe because women get pregnant and cannot abandon their responsibilities so easily as a whole makes us less likely to run when things seem difficult. I am sure in both instances, the 24 year old and the 41 year old...the ages of both men...they oddly do not see themselves as being responsible for their actions. The younger man in particular. He sounded as though he was drugged into making the choices he made. He couldn't even admit that he just didn't want to be told what to do to his improvement. He just saw it as nagging and asking way too much of him. Lol. Does it even make sense to try to understand such thinking and actions of some men? The Towers engaged me for years. I had to cut off any interest in him when he could not be straight with me about some simple things, and my instincts kicked in and I refused to allow him to waste my time for another second romantically. What concerns me about these stories is that I ask why does it have to be so hard for women? Or even men? I hear so many people just asking for communication, respect and love. How damn hard is that?