Last night I was speaking with the Spartan. His views on women he has met in my country are disparaging. So much so that I have asked him to tone down or stop telling me about it altogether. meanwhile, I also had to tell him to stop talking about my physical attributes. This is typical of a certain kind of man who has been through a rough time. But equally, as a woman, I would say that I too have found dating post divorce to be extremely weird to say the least and mostly disappointing. I have concluded that at my age, I am going to meet damaged, challenged men walking right off the battlefield, all bloodied and PTSD(ed). Lol. I notice that the women I speak to complain about the same thing that men I know complain about. But somehow, they are not meeting each other. With all of the online dating sites out there, this is a surprise. I know many wonderful, beautiful women. I also know some very nice, kind and loving men. So what gives? Yet, the Spartan's words grate against my nerves. Somehow when he delivers some of his comments, I observe that he cannot gain my regard as juliemangoman had absolutely no problem with doing. It is amazing! I have come across this before. The Towers said something to me that made me storm out of his million dollar apartment that Frequent Flyer would say completely differently and get me wrapped up emotionally. It is so funny the way delivery, meaning, elegance, chemistry all play into how one person succeeds and another does not. However, I am writing about The Spartan from the perspective of his victimhood on the one hand and his arrogance on the other. He admits that when he was a younger man he was wild. But now that he has met a younger woman by at least twenty years, he wants to bad talk her in the worst way, saying she mislead him. I am getting the story in dribbles, but it is coming out. He was in such a lather about what she did to him. But when I tried to ask him about his part in the whole thing, he is less inclined to consider his responsibility to himself. We are all looking for love, for companionship. We all want someone to understand us, talk with, share things about ourselves, our day to day issues. Someone to have a laugh with. To empathize when we are crying, hurt or angry. Companionship is a powerful thing. I know that when juliemangoman touched me, I realized I was in serious trouble because I had not been embraced for real in so long that the very nature of being held by a man, far less one smelling as he was and how tall he was, I was lost in his arms and I wanted to hold on. The idea that I was reacting that way, could come across as desperate sad to say. I was instantly aware of it and scared to death that I could be "one of THOSE women..it is natural to feel and to react,but in our world right now, its seen as too much from a woman, so despite what you want to do. the truth is that a woman still should play games with men. There is no equality there. I wish I could say otherwise. But it seems that it is still hinged in game playing. I resist, you pursue. But the funny thing is that when most women resist when they are older, it is because they really are not interested in the man at all. It is a fine balance. I see nothing wrong with showing your feelings and putting your truth out in the open. Answer questions, say what you want...be confident. Do not play on a man's playing field, play on your own is a saying I have. I adhere to it still. But I would say that despite my confidence, this last time, I was met with more than I could intellectualize. Damn! I was a blubbering mess! Lol and damn!!Sometimes it is just how it is. Its kinda great to know that with all you feel you know, there is always something that turns what you know on its ear.