the ironies of life

I have met someone who has been contacting me every day, sometimes two and three times. I appreciate the interest, but I have made it very clear that I am not interested in them romantically. I shall call him the Spartan. I feel odd about the whole thing, but I can tell that this person is in for the long haul. Part of me is a bit angry about it. I want to complain that I don't need someone coming around me trying to be friendly and friends, when I know that they are not going to wear me down for romance. I am not attracted to him, even remotely. I do appreciate his mind, his professional experience at his work and he is a very nice person. No doubt about it. But to me, I cannot fake chemistry. I didn't feel it with The Towers and tried to intellectualize a possible relationship to disasterous effect....But,at the time I did think that he met all of my intellectual ideas of the right person for me. So if the Spartan thinks that he can stick around and I will eventually give in he is going to be damn disappointed. But then I am punched in the gut by the fact that it was the one thing that juliemangoman did not do, and now this person is more than doing it. It is as though you can't find one person to make you happy! It is mind blowing to be faced with so much fragmentation. I feel as though I should not dear wish for anything ever again, if the fates choose to have a good laugh at my expense.Which they seem to be falling over on the floor crying with mirth about my downfalls. You want to meet someone to love for life. Fate decides that that sentence is flawed, so it gives you a rougeish looking drug addict wearing a tee shirt with the word LIFE on it for example. You want to meet the love of your life. He's looking at you with deep intense passion while holding the hand of his pregnant wife. Shit like that! As a child I always imagined that there are superior beings watching us individually and collectively like reality tv. Every being on their planet watches us as a sort of entertainment and betting factor. We really have no ultimate say. But, whether this is true or not, venture one must. I see way too many happy, content couples to believe that it isn't possible to find the person right for you. There is still hope.