What has happened, as I expected, has been such a big shock to me that I know that I shall tack back again and again. But one of the things coming to mind tonight is the first time we actually went out. He didn't eat anything and when the bill came, I paid because his card was declined. At the time I remember thinking that that was embarrassing and unfortunate. From then on I think that that situation cemented the way things would go. I am despondent. I want to shout to the heavens, WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!!!! I mind my own business, I keep to myself. I speak with you online for years. Or I know you for years....or I meet you again after years....some weirdness insues. Not the fraud, but one type of fraud or the other. Your married, your separated, your divorcing or your looking for a woman to marry. I know that I am not the only woman going through challenges with men, but Jeezan ages man!There is a joke that says it can turn a woman into a Lesbian. But being with another woman will not suddenly make wack behaviour go away. The Lesbians I know are no happier. I am certain that there are millions upon millions of people in the world who are happily in love, on their second marriage,growing old together. My cousin is marrying for the first time now that her son is an adult. She's happy. I know of someone who got married for a third time and is now having a baby and she is very happy. Everyone has ups and downs. But I find that my experiences are over the top! It could have been worse though. I could have fallen in love with him and believed in him and supported his financial goals. I could have unwittingly been involved in one of his schemes. I shudder at the very thought of it. I think that I should be grateful for what I do not have and extremely grateful for what I do have.