Corona Virus relationships

Trying to get my friend to communicate what her views were against what mine were has proven to be a disaster. What I have come to notice is that I am now in the que of people she used to talk to me about. Where did I ever consider that I was somehow not perceived as she does everyone else? In the past I would literally tell her that I am not one of her old friends. I would not tell her things that I didn't mean, lie to her or pretend with her. I have worked very hard to make her see that I am willing to give her hard truths when she asks, but more so, I go the distance by helping her through the difficulty to the other side. However, I have now come to the place where that is the past. In fact, I am a bit relieved. It has been at a cost for me as her friend. It has been exhausting to re-assure her, and to support her, only to occassionally see her go down her path of self-destruction. All of this feels like the Covid-19 virus as friendship. I am stressed, dismayed, because I am in mourning for my dad, and her attitude is selfish and callous as far as I can see. As long as I am helping her with her projects (that fortunately we worked a cost out for) her sensitivity to me is zero. But I have been there before with her on these pages. She told me that that was who she was when she talked about other people and her issues with them. What made me think that I was special? I thought that we met on a mental level of mutual respect and consideration. I thought that we looked out for each other and had great communication and would be able to be real and true. But that was the relationship I shared with my darling friend who died and saw her as his replacement. Well I can wail to the Heavens now to say to him, you were absolutely wrong, she is nothing like you!!!! They shared the same birth date, but she is nothing like him at all, and I never compared them. So what now? I tried to get to a place in the conversation that I had to bring up, that we are at an impass with the discussion, and we need to work it out if we are to go forward in our friendship. I felt as though I was speaking Swahili. She is hell bent on holding her ground. So, for me, I have no intention of trying to make her see my point of view. It is a waste of time. She argued this way weeks ago regarding her rent and her children, so I can now see that happening with me as the same result. At the time she said that she would not apologize, she's a grown woman and she isn't going to back down no matter who is right. That I did react too by telling her how could things improve with her family relationships if that was her way of thinking! Now I see that that is part of her character. What all of this has also done for me is to make me look at what is said and how one behaves against that complaint. Her actions rally are cautionary, everything she has argued about others with me, she reflects. That is a known quote. But now, seeing it in action leaves me amazed! I have to check the things I also say. Am I going to start listening more closely at people I want to have longer relationships with to see whether they may turn out to be more harmful than helpful? I believe as always that any issue is about communications. I thought my friend would at least be able to come to the realsation that we did not have to agree, but we do have to respect the others opinion enough to say, you know what, I may not agree, or understand what you feel, but I am willing to say that I don't and I am willing to do better, or I am sorry that we disagree. She did none of these things and her profession is all about analyzing people and giving her advice. So for me, Physician, heal thyself.