ALTERNATIVE


I had finished the post and had gone on, doing a number of things, when the idea popped into my head, ask yourself, what would the alternative look like? What would actually staring down your fear of success, produce?
What would it look like? What would it feel like? You have already done it in your words to your mother when she was so negative before your trip.
This is about really believing in yourself for a change and not listening to all of the people who unwittingly want to help you feel comfortable in your dance of failure.

You are worried because you believe that you do not have a road map to this success place.
You are worried because you don't want to imagine that success also comes from sometimes failing, even when you feel success.
But remember, this isn't new to you, this is normal. Life is like that, balance causes failure and success.
So what are you waiting for? You have said many times in your spiritual education that you prefer to choose to try than the alternative, which is to worry, sulk and wring your hands in doubt and fear. In other words, the present way of being isn't working, so a new way of working is the preferred choice.

The same thing applies here.

You got the answer yesterday when you were wondering what to do next. You said to yourself that you should start again, on your first page.
1. What do I want?
2. What do I see for myself?
3. How do I create it?
Doing that helps to clear the cobwebs of doubt, very much the way cleaning a house or throwing out an outdated wardrobe can provide clarity, the same is true for yourself here.

I will not provide the answers to those questions right now, but shall spend some time focusing on them.