Listening Post

When I write for Heart, I usually save the document to read later. I do this so that I can listen to the sound of what I am saying.
It was how I was able to say what I really want to do where working is concerned.
It was actually hard for me to admit that I want a job where I can stay home and take care of my child.
It was also actually hard to admit that the job that I want is Artist.
ARTIST
ARTIST
ARTIST
There, I said it.
Is it that I am worried that I cannot do this for a living?
The answer is that I see things as follows-: I have a small window in which to get a job and a place to live. Can I take what feels like a risk and say that i want a job in Art when there is no clear cut way to have a continuous monthly salary from it. Am I being selfish to limit my wants. Shouldn't I be looking at all possibilities and not at just what I want.

There.

At least I am getting somewhere by looking at my concerns squarely.

I have put my resume out for graphic design work. I have also put my resume out there for art work.
I am currently waiting to see who may respond.
I have also started a Web design course that ends in mid November. That shall help me get work as well as part of the programme includes internships.

I am also nearly finished with a book design for a client in Trinidad. So I am working.

But,
I still feel as though i am standing pretty still.


LISTEN to yourself

This anxiety is with me because I think that things should go in a particular way.

ANSWER

You are doing what you can.
Be good with that and let the rest go.


I am hearing a strong BUT surfacing. I know that the but is not attatched to anything because it does not have the answers behind it. Yes, I would prefer to be looking back on the process firmly esconsed in a lovely home, my daughter in my arms, everything perfectly resolved.
maybe I should try an exercise where that is indeed the case.
I am sitting in a really lovely house. My baby is in my arms. Everything that I set out to do is working. My studio awaits, where I have a detailed schedule and one or two workers helping me with my projects.
The house is buzzing a bit because along with a housekeeper, my mother in law is here and she and my little one are going out in a few minutes, so I am giving hugs all around and about to go into my workspace to do several hours of work that includes paper work, sending emails, answering others, doing a phone interview and organising my calendar. I need to get a secretary.

Gosh, that felt real.

That made me feel good.

HOW do I get there? From here

First of all, what I am thinking is very possible. That is the important thing. It can happen, it can be done, it isn't some unreachable dream.

ANSWER

Prepare, do the work and follow the path.