turvy topsy

Whatever vibe sent me to this site awhile back, and had me speculating about a man coming into my life in the future...well, there is one that has just literally bumped into me, and although its very new, he is already making it clear to me that he wants to set a big impression about himself. This situation has me confronting some things that tell me that it is very easy to write all that I wrote in theory, but a real live guy in my presence is nothing like it was with The Towers and Frequent Flyer. I think that in both those cases, I could be more cavalier because I had no expectations. Now, because of those experiences, I am filled with thoughts of what I do not want to experience. My first thought is, you don't fucking know me,so, how can you be so enthusiastic and persuasive? I get instantly suspicious. As I think makes perfect sense.What is he seeing is my first thought, and then I stop, because there shall be NO I wonder what he's thinking... with me this time. That's an old construct. This person shows me that I have come to a place where I am not going to jump when I have feelings that are fed...my ego fed. I am writing this now because I see from a different perspective now. This guy bumps into me, he has a lovely singing voice and you can't ignore how he looks.He also has his lyrics down very well.It also turns out that we are in similar creative fields. I put the breaks on at the fact that he's like twelve years younger than I. I start going down a list of why I do not want to know anyone who isn't going to take the time to be my friend, and clearly that takes time. The early meetings, the calling, texting, the degree of comfort felt... The belief that the person is living up to the image that you have in your mind of what this illusive perfect partner should look and act like.Are all in play, all in the consciousness. I can see now that when people meet, there is a degree of belief that has nothing to do with the person. That person is put in a halo. So, damn, people start from a very unrealistic place. Knowing this means for me that it is important to not encourage a man to get all fast and loose with you. Whatever the attraction or pull, it does not mean that I want to ignore all of the delicious sensations newness can bring. it is just that I am automatically cautious, and I have the experience now to ask myself, in what way is this man coming into my life now? Who am I now? What body of thoughts brought him floating into my life? Those are the things that I am looking at now, and I am also looking at what I do want, and have said I want, against who is coming into my life now. I am also doing this compare and contrast with my goals against my plans. In this instance where work is concerned, I like, because I can hone my short and medium term options. The day I met this new person...and I stated awhile back that I would stop giving people nicknames, but I need to give him one. Let me think. Lol. I checked his birthday because he checked my site and decided to talk to me about it...quite ballsy I have to say...so, he isn't moving true to form of that sign. I need to just write and ponder what is coming through me right now.