The Issues at hand

I am preparing to go to see my husband's relatives in a little while, and I have decided to make a list of the things that I should take into account, from the things that I can do nothing about. I find that things become stressful when they need not be, or at least can be handled at a later time.

The document that must be put in to immigration before I go back home to see about my finances states that I must have a document of my earnings over the last year. This is a concern because I left my job to stay at home with our child.

My husband is still poking me and hassling me about how long I shall be home. He thinks that if I stay longer than a week, I'll want to stay perminantly, or not come back to Canada until he straightens everything out. (Which by the way, anyone else in their right mind would insist on as he is the one who wants to make the big move.)

The thought of going back and not seeing our child rips at my heart and soul! To be frank, it would be easier to do, if he hadn't mentioned the D word. The insane thing is that the D word was brought up because of the fact that our child was not born in Canada. So it is like the literal Sword of Damicles!
Can we ever get past that!

The plan that he has is that he shall go to London in January and then come to Canada in February.
I should return to Canada, and either have a job by then or should still be looking, while the papers are being processed for our child and then more papers put in for his mother. The bottom line being that I shall be spending an undetermined number of months more without my little one.

There is no guarantees and no easy solutions to this situation. My husband cannot get past the fact that his child was not born in Canada and has decided to blame me for that. (What good this does, is beyond me.) But that is the situation. It is an emotional statement, a bugbear, an irritant. I have to put that aside.

What is all of this saying....
I can go home and stay with my darling girl and have him do what he should be doing....seeing to getting us to Canada.

or

I can go home, spend a few days to see to my finances, return and continue as I have been doing and hope that the documents are filed in good time, things work out and my mother-in-law and our child be able to come to Canada together.

That is the situation at hand.
Everything after that is on a wait and see basis. Even the big D word can be pushed back at this juncture.

What I find difficult about this, is that it requires me not to try not to be emotional. I have to have patience. I have to try not to want to just scream and be hysterical. I am getting blamed for having to be away from my little one! My husband is adding to my stress by throwing in that emotional equation, and that is not helping, it is only distracting me. He is so convinced that his way is right, and that behavior causes me alot of anxiety.
To avoid feeling this way, I must be proactive about where I stand in terms of all of that, and that is the bottom line.